Spousal Rape, Perineal Tears, and the Struggle for Bodily Autonomy

In societies where spousal rape is shrouded in silence and women’s bodily autonomy is dismissed, the injuries survivors endure are often ignored, buried beneath layers of societal injustice. For aromantic and asexual women, spousal rape is particularly harrowing, as the very act violates their fundamental identities—forcing them into sexual situations that contradict their desires and boundaries. Among the physical injuries that arise from this violence, perineal tears are one of the most painful, and for many, life-threatening outcomes.

A perineal tear occurs when the tissue between the vaginal opening and the anus is torn, often due to forced penetration. These tears, particularly third and fourth-degree tears, can result in severe bleeding, infection, and permanent damage to the pelvic floor. In the context of spousal rape, where the violence is both intimate and coercive, perineal tears are more than just physical wounds; they symbolize the layered violations endured by survivors—especially those who, as aromantic and asexual individuals, are already vulnerable to cultural erasure.

Impact on Aromantic and Asexual Women

For aromantic and asexual women, the implications of spousal rape cut deep. Forced into roles and expectations of marital intimacy that directly conflict with their sexual and romantic orientations, survivors often face intensified isolation. The pain of a perineal tear becomes a physical manifestation of the societal pressure to conform to heteronormative relationships, despite their clear lack of consent and the violence embedded in such expectations.

“The aftermath of spousal rape and perineal injuries is complicated by limited access to healthcare and support systems. In many cases, survivors are unable to seek medical treatment, either due to fear of societal judgment, financial barriers, or threats from their abusive spouses. In conservative communities where spousal rape is denied or excused as a “marital right,” survivors, especially asexual and aromantic women, are often left to suffer in silence. Even when medical care is available, survivors may encounter victim-blaming, ignorance, or even complicity from healthcare providers who fail to acknowledge spousal rape as a violation.

This medical neglect is dangerous. Without proper treatment, perineal tears can lead to infections, hemorrhage, or long-term incontinence. Survivors may experience chronic pain, scarring, or complications with bowel movements, adding to the daily toll of navigating life post-trauma. For those who are already isolated due to their asexual or aromantic identities, these physical consequences compound their psychological trauma. Left untreated, survivors may develop severe anxiety, depression, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), haunted by the constant reminder of the violence inflicted upon them. The silence surrounding spousal rape in aromantic and asexual communities is exacerbated by societal structures that fail to recognize these identities. Many survivors are pressured to endure the abuse to “fulfill marital obligations,” denying their right to bodily autonomy and further entrenching them in cycles of violence. In some cases, family members and religious authorities may downplay the severity of the injury, framing the abuse as a necessary part of marriage, reinforcing the belief that women—regardless of their orientation—owe their bodies to their husbands.”

Asian Network of A-Spec Queer Activists

The Path to Healing and Justice

To address this issue, we must start by acknowledging the intersection of spousal rape, asexuality, and aromanticism. Survivors must be believed, supported, and provided with safe spaces where they can access healthcare without fear of shame or retribution. Legal and cultural shifts are essential. Spousal rape must be criminalized, with specific legal protections for survivors, especially those whose identities are marginalized. Medical professionals must be trained to recognize the signs of intimate partner violence, including perineal tears, and provide compassionate, competent care that respects the survivor’s bodily autonomy.

For aromantic and asexual survivors of spousal rape, reclaiming their bodies, identities, and dignity is a long, painful journey. Perineal tears are just one of the many consequences of this violence, but they serve as a stark reminder of the cost of ignoring consent, autonomy, and the rights of women to live free from harm. Survivors deserve more than silence; they deserve justice, healing, and the freedom to live without fear.