Amidst the vibrant culture of the Asian region, a hidden struggle unfolded within the queer community—a struggle often overlooked and marginalized. This was the life of the asexual community, who faced challenges that extended far beyond the boundaries of sexuality. For years, the asexual movement had been overshadowed by other aspects of the queer movement. While IDAHOBIT (International Day Against Homophobia, Biphobia, Intersexism, and Transphobia) brought attention to various issues, asexuality and ace phobia remained largely unaddressed. Yet, the asexual community grappled with its own set of hardships, from invisibility to stigma, discrimination, and violence. Teenagers, young adults, and individuals at various life stages bore the weight of coming out as asexual, fearing the backlash of sex shaming. Often, these brave souls found themselves threatened not only by societal misunderstanding but also by intimate partner violence and social bullying. Women, especially, faced harrowing challenges. Corrective rape and forced marriage loomed as stark realities, particularly in countries where economic independence for women was far from commonplace. In the face of these challenges, the practice of ‘conversion’ therapy cast a dark shadow. These so-called therapies treated asexual individuals as though they suffered from sexual dysfunction, leading to acts of physical, psychological, and sexual abuse. Forced medication, confinement, verbal humiliation—all became part of the daily struggle for asexual persons. The pain endured from these therapies left not only physical scars but also deep-rooted psychological trauma. A case study from Bangladesh highlighted the grim reality. Dipa Mahbuba Yasmin, a survivor of ‘conversion’ therapy, recounted her journey. Faced with doctors attempting to “treat” her asexuality as a disorder, Yasmin found herself grappling with Gamophobia, Frigidity, Psychosexual Disorder, and even OCD labels. During this time, mental health support was scarce, and she resorted to online therapy from India through the help of a supportive Indian activist’s friend. In Bangladesh, where economic disparity persisted, women’s financial dependence on fathers or husbands exacerbated their vulnerability. Pressure to arrange marriages from low-income families mounted, driving many asexual women to flee their homes in desperation. Yet, safety and shelter remained elusive, forcing them to return to the very environments they sought to escape. Shelters and safe homes were few, and even those that existed were often ill-equipped to address the specific needs of asexual individuals. The legal framework in some Muslim countries, including Bangladesh, further compounded the hardships of asexual women. Forced marriages and marital rape remained legally permissible, and the strictures of Sharia law made it nearly impossible for women to seek divorce on the grounds of sexual incompatibility. Asexual women, already marginalized within a patriarchal society, were thus forced into harrowing marriages that denied them agency over their own bodies and lives. Amidst these challenges, asexual activism started to grow globally. However, this movement faced a chronic lack of funding and support. Despite the inspiring efforts of advocates, the asexual community struggled to gather the resources needed to create safe spaces, provide mental health support, and challenge the harmful practices and attitudes that continued to plague their lives. The story of the asexual community in the Asian region is one of resilience, courage, and the unyielding pursuit of justice. While they faced the shadows of stigma, discrimination, and violence, they persisted in raising their voices, fighting for visibility, and demanding their rights as individuals deserving of respect, love, and understanding. Their journey served as a poignant reminder that progress and equality within the queer community required the inclusion and support of all its diverse members, regardless of their sexual orientation.
Abstract: This report sheds light on the key challenges that the asexual community faces in Asia, particularly focusing on issues of invisibility, stigma, discrimination, violence, and lack of support. Despite being a part of the broader queer movement, asexuality often remains overlooked, with a limited acknowledgment of asexual hate crimes. This report emphasizes the unique challenges asexual individuals’ encounter, especially in countries like Bangladesh, where factors such as forced marriages, corrective rape, conversion therapy, and legal barriers exacerbate their struggles. The report concludes by highlighting the need for increased awareness, advocacy, and funding to support the asexual community in Asia. Introduction: The asexual community, or A-Spec, is a marginalized group within the broader queer movement. Despite growing acceptance and recognition of various sexual orientations, asexuality often remains sidelined in discussions and initiatives related to LGBTQ+ rights. This report aims to shed light on the key challenges faced by the asexual community in Asia, focusing on issues of invisibility, stigma, discrimination, violence, and lack of support. Challenges: Invisibility and Stigma: A major challenge for the asexual community in Asia is the lack of visibility and understanding. Asexuality, defined by a lack of sexual attraction, is frequently misunderstood or dismissed as a phase or a form of repression. This lack of recognition leads to feelings of isolation and erasure, contributing to the overall stigma faced by asexual individuals. Discrimination and Violence: Asexual individuals in Asia often face discrimination, both within the larger queer community and in society at large. Asexual hate crimes are rarely acknowledged or addressed, perpetuating an environment where violence against asexual individuals can go unchecked. Asexual teenagers and young adults may come out to confront sex shaming, which can result in verbal and emotional abuse. Forced Marriages and Corrective Rape: A unique challenge faced by asexual women in certain Asian countries is forced marriage. Many women, especially in low-income families, are financially dependent on their fathers or husbands. Pressure to arrange marriages often leads to a lack of agency in choosing their partners, and some asexual women run away to escape this pressure. Corrective rape, intended to “cure” asexual individuals through sexual assault, disproportionately affects asexual women, perpetuating gender-based violence and victimization. Conversion Therapy: A deeply concerning challenge is the practice of conversion therapy. Asexual individuals are often treated as having a sexual dysfunction that requires “conversion” to a normative sexual orientation. This treatment involves acts of physical, psychological, and sexual abuse, leading to lasting psychological and physical damage. The normalization of such harmful therapies further perpetuates the stigma and misunderstanding surrounding asexuality. Case Study: Dipa Mahbuba Yasmin in Bangladesh: Dipa Mahbuba Yasmin’s experience highlights the challenges faced by asexual individuals in Bangladesh. Her encounters with doctors attempting to treat her orientation as a disorder demonstrate the lack of mental health support and understanding for asexuality. Yasmin’s reliance on online therapy from India underscores the scarcity of resources available for asexual individuals in Bangladesh. Legal and Cultural Barriers: In certain Asian countries, including those with Muslim Sharia law, forced marriages and marital rape remain legal. Asexual women, constrained by these laws, often find themselves trapped in unhappy and abusive marriages. The limited legal avenues for seeking divorce further exacerbate their struggles. Lack of Support and Funding: While asexual activism is growing globally, the asexual community in Asia still faces significant challenges in terms of funding and support. Compared to other LGBTQ+ issues, asexuality remains underfunded and less acknowledged by both local and international organizations. Conclusion: The asexual community in Asia confronts numerous challenges, ranging from invisibility and stigma to violence and legal barriers. Forced marriages, corrective rape, conversion therapy, and cultural norms perpetuate these issues, particularly affecting asexual women. The lack of awareness, support, and funding further compounds these challenges. To address these issues, there is a need for increased advocacy, education, and financial resources dedicated to supporting the asexual community’s rights and well-being in Asia. Recognizing asexuality as a valid sexual orientation and acknowledging the unique struggles it presents is essential to fostering a more inclusive and equitable society for all. Celebrating Hope and Unity: Empowering the Asexual Community in the Asian Region In the vibrant tapestry of the LGBTQ+ community in Asia, the asexual community stands as a powerful testament to the diversity of human experience and identity. From raising awareness about asexual hate crimes to fostering meaningful connections and providing visibility to asexual activism, the Asian Network of Asexual and Queer Activism (ANOAQA) is paving the way for a more inclusive and empowered future. A Voice against Asexual Hate Crimes In many parts of Asia, asexual hate crimes often go unreported and unnoticed in mainstream media. ANOAQA has taken a courageous stance to address this issue head-on by disseminating information about such incidents. By raising awareness about these issues, ANOAQA is not only giving a voice to victims but also sparking vital conversations that challenge discrimination and promote understanding. Together, we can work to stop asexual hate crimes and create safer communities for all. Fostering Connections and Personal Growth ANOAQA has become a beacon of hope for Asian asexual individuals, providing them with a platform to engage and connect with each other. Through this network, asexual individuals can share their experiences, find support, and nurture meaningful relationships. The platform also offers opportunities for personal development, empowering individuals to learn, grow, and flourish in an environment that celebrates their uniqueness. Visibility and Recognition of Asexual Activism Asexual activism often remains overlooked within the larger LGBTQ+ community. ANOAQA is changing that narrative by shining a spotlight on asexual activists’ important contributions. By recognizing the efforts of asexual activists, we reinforce the idea that every voice within the LGBTQ+ spectrum matters and is integral to creating a more inclusive world. Empowering Emerging Asexual Activists The future of the LGBTQ+ movement relies on the leadership of emerging activists. ANOAQA is committed to nurturing young asexual activists, providing them with the tools, guidance, and mentorship they need to take their place as leaders within the contemporary queer landscape. By
Cultural misogyny refers to the discrimination, prejudice, and negative attitudes towards women that exist within certain cultures in Asia. It often manifests in various forms, such as unequal treatment, gender-based violence, and restrictive gender roles. In some Asian cultures, women may face societal pressures to conform to traditional gender roles, including expectations of romantic and sexual relationships. Asexual women might encounter challenges in navigating these norms, as their lack of sexual attraction can be stigmatized or misunderstood. It is important to note that asexuality is not inherently related to cultural misogyny, but asexuality can intersect with cultural norms and expectations surrounding relationships and sexuality in Asian societies. It’s essential to recognize that the experiences of asexual women in Asia can vary greatly across different countries and communities, as cultural attitudes and beliefs about gender, sexuality, and relationships differ. In some cultures, there might be limited awareness or acceptance of asexuality, leading to misunderstandings or pressure on individuals who identify as asexual. This can result in challenges for asexual individuals to express their identities openly and freely. Addressing cultural misogyny and promoting understanding and acceptance of diverse sexual orientations, including asexuality, is essential to fostering a more inclusive and equitable society in Asia. It requires education, awareness, and open dialogue to challenge harmful stereotypes and support marginalized communities. Historical Roots of Stereotypes Forced marriage and marital rape have deep historical roots in various Asian societies. Traditional cultural norms, patriarchal structures, and religious practices have played significant roles in shaping these practices. In the past, marriages were often arranged by families or communities, and the consent of the individuals involved was not always taken into consideration. Forced marriage was, and in some places still is, a way to preserve social status, maintain family honor, or forge alliances between families. In many Asian societies, arranged marriages were a common practice to maintain social order, family honor, and economic stability. Marriages were often seen as alliances between families rather than unions based on personal choice or romantic love. These marriages were arranged by parents or elders, who considered factors like social status, caste, religion, wealth, and family reputation when selecting a spouse for their children. Marriages were seen as a way to consolidate power, strengthen familial ties, and ensure the continuity of family lineage. The practice of forced arranged marriages was often driven by societal norms and traditions, rather than individual preferences. Children were expected to comply with their parents’ decisions, and refusal to accept a chosen partner was generally not tolerated. Over time, societal changes and modernization have led to a decline in forced arranged marriages in some Asian countries. Younger generations now have more agency in choosing their life partners, and the practice has become less common. However, in certain regions and communities, elements of arranged marriages may still persist, blending tradition with evolving social dynamics. Marital rape, the act of forcing a spouse into non-consensual sexual intercourse, was often not recognized or criminalized in many Asian legal systems. In many Asian societies, historical norms and legal systems often treated wives as the property of their husbands, leading to the perception that husbands had the right to sexual access to their wives regardless of consent. Throughout history, patriarchal structures and societal expectations placed men in dominant roles, allowing them to exercise control over their wives’ bodies. Marital rape was not recognized as a crime in many Asian countries for a significant period, as it was commonly viewed as an extension of a husband’s authority within the marriage. Cultural norms regarding male authority within marriage sometimes contributed to the belief that a spouse was entitled to sexual access without consent. It’s essential to note that these cultural norms and historical perspectives are changing in many parts of Asia. In recent times, there has been increased awareness and advocacy to address these issues. In last few years, there has been a growing recognition of women’s rights and gender equality, leading to legal reforms and increased awareness of the importance of consent within marriage. However, challenges persist in addressing the issue due to deeply ingrained attitudes and the influence of traditional practices. Many Asian countries have taken steps to criminalize forced marriage and marital rape, provide support for survivors, and promote gender equality. However, cultural and societal attitudes may still present barriers to full implementation and enforcement of these laws. Ongoing efforts are needed to challenge harmful traditions and promote respect for human rights in relationships and marriages. “All of those perceptions have had the effect of excusing and tolerating violence by ignoring, trivializing, and normalizing it.” – Rachel Kuo, Scholar on Race Economic Vulnerability The stereotypes surrounding Asian women also contribute to their economic vulnerability. Forced marriage and marital rape are serious issues that can occur in any socioeconomic setting, including low-income families. Asexual women may face unique challenges in various aspects of life, such as employment opportunities, healthcare access, and social support. Economic insecurity can exacerbate these difficulties and affect their overall well-being and quality of life, due to the added pressure of marriage. Financial struggles might make it difficult for them to assert their autonomy and resist societal expectations of marriage, which can lead to increased pressure to conform and marry for financial security rather than personal fulfillment. This can result in limited opportunities for self-expression and fulfillment outside traditional gender role. Adequate support systems and inclusive policies are essential to address the specific needs of asexual women and reduce the impact of economic vulnerability on their lives. Violence against Asian A-SPEC Women Today The recent attacks in Atlanta occurred against the backdrop of a rise in hate incidents and violence targeting Asian Americans during the COVID-19 pandemic. Asian Americans have historically been targeted during times of crisis due to being perceived as foreigners. Data shows that women are disproportionately affected by these incidents. According to Stop AAPI Hate, nearly 3,800 hate incidents were reported between March 19, 2020, and February 28, 2021, with women being targeted in the majority of
In a world that celebrates and sometimes fixates on sexual intimacy, navigating the complexities of relationships where one partner identifies as asexual (ace) and the other as allosexual (allo) can indeed be challenging. Ace/allo relationships bring to the forefront the need for compromise, understanding, and open communication, as both partners work to create a fulfilling and harmonious partnership. This article delves into the dynamics of such relationships, explores potential compromises, and addresses questions about the future of monogamy in this context. Understanding Ace/Allo Relationships An ace/allo relationship refers to a romantic partnership between an individual who identifies as asexual and another who identifies as allosexual, experiencing sexual attraction as a part of their sexuality. These relationships can indeed be complex, as they involve differing levels of sexual attraction and desire. While some asexual individuals may feel comfortable engaging in sexual activities, many do not experience sexual attraction and may even find the idea of sexual intimacy uncomfortable or repulsive. The Art of Compromise: Compromise is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. In ace/allo partnerships, it’s especially crucial due to the differences in sexual attraction. The question of how to navigate compromise without undermining either partner’s needs or comfort is central. It’s important to acknowledge that no universal answer fits every relationship, as the dynamics are as unique as the individuals involved. Communication is Key: Communication lies at the heart of any thriving relationship, and ace/allo partnerships are no exception. Honest discussions about desires, boundaries, and expectations are essential to ensure both partners feel heard and respected. If one partner experiences sexual attraction while the other does not, open conversations can help navigate this difference. Together, the partners can find creative ways to maintain emotional intimacy without causing discomfort or distress. Mutual Understanding: Both partners should strive to understand each other’s perspectives. Allo partners should respect the ace partner’s lack of sexual attraction and vice versa. This understanding helps foster empathy and patience, leading to a stronger bond. Exploring Alternatives: Intimacy doesn’t solely rely on sexual acts. Partners can discover new ways to bond emotionally, intellectually, and romantically that align with both partners’ comfort levels. Creative approaches to physical intimacy can also be explored, ensuring that both partners feel valued. Consent and Comfort: In an ace/allo relationship, the allo partner should never coerce or pressure the ace partner into unwanted sexual activities. The foundation of a healthy relationship is built on respect for each other’s boundaries and autonomy. Monogamy and Relationship Dynamics: In the context of ace/allo relationships, the question of ‘Can Monogamy Continue?’ is worth exploring. Monogamy traditionally involves exclusive romantic and sexual commitment between two partners. However, in ace/allo relationships, partners might need to redefine the boundaries of monogamy to ensure that both their emotional and physical needs are met. Some couples might opt for a more open approach to monogamy, where allo partners seek sexual experiences outside the relationship with the ace partner’s consent. Alternatively, some couples might choose to prioritize emotional intimacy within their monogamous relationship while acknowledging that sexual needs could be fulfilled in different ways. The Partner’s Role in Meeting Needs: In any relationship, both partners play a role in fulfilling each other’s needs. However, this should never come at the expense of either partner’s comfort or consent. While it’s healthy for partners to make an effort to meet each other’s needs, it’s equally important to recognize and respect each other’s boundaries. One critical issue that can arise in ace/allo relationships is the question of “unwanted sex.”. Healthy relationships should never normalize or condone any form of non-consensual activity. Addressing Concerns and Stereotypes: The concern of finding love and navigating relationships when sexual attraction is a significant factor for many allosexual individuals is valid. However, it’s important to remember that successful ace/allo relationships are possible. There are instances of ace romance success stories, proving that love can transcend differences in sexual attraction. Challenging Stereotypes: The suggestion to replace “sexual compromise” with “unwanted sex” underscores the importance of honest language. However, it’s essential to avoid painting all ace/allo relationships with the same brush. Some individuals within these relationships might find ways to engage in sexual activities comfortably, while for others, compromise might indeed involve refraining from sexual activities. Research and Recommendations As the landscape of relationships continues to evolve, research on ace/allo relationships remains limited. It’s crucial to approach these partnerships with an open mind and a nonjudgmental attitude. Understand that healthy relationships are not about molding someone into a specific role but about accepting and loving them as they are. It’s not easy for experts, therapists, and psychologists to delve into these dynamics to provide guidance and support for couples navigating these challenges. Additionally, justice and social service professionals should be equipped to provide advice and assistance to ace/allo couples seeking help with conflicts related to their differing sexual orientations. Conclusion In conclusion, navigating an ace/allo relationship involves open communication, empathy, and a willingness to find compromise. While challenges may arise, love and connection can thrive when both partners are committed to understanding each other’s needs and fostering a relationship built on respect and mutual support. Remember that healthy relationships are about loving and accepting someone as they are, finding common ground, and building a future together based on shared values and emotional connection. KEY NOTES: Origins of the Terminology “ALLOSEXUAL” The journey towards defining and describing non-asexual identities has been marked by a continuous evolution of language. The term “allosexual” began to gain traction around 2011, as a reaction to the use of the word “sexual” to describe individuals who aren’t asexual. Previously, the term “sexual” was employed to refer to those who experience sexual attraction and desire, but it came with its own set of issues and misconceptions. Advocates for change argued against the usage of “sexual” due to several reasons: Confusion: The terms “sexual” and “sexuality” already encompass a range of meanings. The introduction of “allosexual” sought to clarify that it relates specifically to those who experience sexual attraction, not just
Introduction to Asexual Identity and Its Significance Asexual identity, characterized by the lack of sexual attraction towards others, is an important aspect of human diversity. While sexual orientation and gender identity have gained significant attention and acceptance in recent years, asexual individuals continue to face significant challenges, particularly teenagers in Asia. This article aims to shed light on the rising trend of asexual hate crimes targeting teenagers in Asia and the need for increased awareness and support for this marginalized community. Understanding the Root Causes of ‘A’ Phobia Asexual adolescents sometimes face discriminatory or dismissive attitudes or behaviors both within and beyond the LGBTQ+ community. Disbelieving attitudes towards asexuality can leave asexual teenagers afraid to come out. Behaviors and attitudes that are considered discriminatory include the idea that asexuality is a mental illness, that asexuality is a phase or a choice, the idea that asexual people cannot feel love, and those that make asexual people feel dehumanized. To comprehend the underlying causes of asexual hate crimes targeting teenagers in Asia, it is crucial to examine the prevailing societal norms and cultural expectations. In many Asian societies, there is a strong emphasis on traditional gender roles and expectations of marriage and procreation. Asexual individuals, who do not conform to these norms, are often shamed and considered abnormal. This stigmatization arises from a lack of understanding and awareness about asexuality, perpetuating harmful stereotypes and discrimination. Higher Rates of Depression and Anxiety There has been a lack of research on asexuality, despite growing calls from within the asexual community for increased visibility and awareness. Even less is known about asexual youth. Using data from The Trevor Project’s 2020 National Survey on LGBTQ Youth Mental Health, this brief explores sexual orientation, gender identity, and mental health indicators among asexual youth. In our sample of over 40,000 LGBTQ youth, 10% identified as asexual or ace spectrum. When given additional options to describe their sexual orientation, asexual youth further selected demi sexual (15%), polyamorous (9%), and greysexual (9%). And consistent with previous research, many asexual youth also selected romantic attraction labels such as pan romantic (20%), biromantic (17%), and aromantic (13%). Asexual youth reported higher rates of depression and anxiety compared to the overall LGBTQ sample. Asexual LGBTQ youth reported slightly greater rates of symptoms of generalized anxiety disorder (aOR = 1.12, p<.001) and major depressive disorder (aOR = 1.19, p<.001) in the past two weeks compared to LGBTQ youth who did not identify as asexual. Rates of attempted suicide in the past year were slightly lower for asexual youth (aOR = .82, p<.001). A larger proportion of asexual youth were transgender or nonbinary compared to the overall sample of LGBTQ youth. Overall, 25% of the LGBTQ youth in our sample were transgender or nonbinary, and 9% were questioning if they were. This compares to 41% of asexual youth who were transgender or nonbinary, and 13% who were questioning if they were transgender or nonbinary. Within these broader categories, 3% of cisgender men, 9% of cisgender women, 6% of transgender women, 13% of transgender men, 20% of nonbinary youth, and 15% of youth who were questioning their gender identified as asexual. The Impact of Shaming Teenagers for Not Having Sexual Attraction Shaming teenagers for not having sexual attraction can have severe consequences on their mental health and overall well-being. Adolescence is a critical period of self-discovery and identity formation, and teenagers who identify as asexual may already grapple with feelings of confusion and isolation. The added burden of societal shaming further exacerbates their struggles, leading to increased rates of depression, anxiety, and even suicide attempts among asexual teenagers in Asia. The Rising Trend of ‘A’ Phobia Targeting Teenagers in Asia In recent years, Asia has witnessed an alarming surge in ‘A’ Phobia & hate crimes targeting asexual teenagers. These hate crimes manifest in various forms, such as verbal abuse, physical assaults, and online harassment. Asexual teenagers often find themselves ostracized, stigmatized, and marginalized due to their lack of sexual attraction. This discrimination not only affects their mental and emotional well-being but also poses serious threats to their physical safety. Forced Marriage and the Violation of Asexual Rights One of the distressing outcomes of societal pressure is the prevalence of forced marriages among asexual teen age girls in South Asia. Asexual individuals often face immense familial and societal pressures to conform to societal expectations of marriage and procreation. Forced marriages not only violate their autonomy and agency but also subject them to a lifetime of emotional and physical trauma. Such marriages often lack the necessary consent and understanding, further exacerbating the marginalization experienced by asexual individuals. Intimate Partner Rape and the Lack of Consent in Allow-Ace Relationships Within asexual relationships, the lack of sexual attraction can create a power dynamic that leaves asexual individuals vulnerable to sexual coercion and intimate partner/spousal rape. Asexual individuals may find it challenging to establish boundaries and communicate their lack of desire for sexual intimacy, leading to violations of their bodily autonomy. The lack of understanding and awareness about asexual relationships contributes to the normalization of non-consensual sexual acts within these unions, perpetuating harm and further marginalizing asexual individuals. Breakup Rates among Asexual Individuals and Its Consequences for Asexual Individuals The pressure to conform to societal expectations of allo-ace relationships takes a toll on asexual individuals, often resulting in high divorce/breakup rates. Asexual individuals who enter into marriages under societal pressure may struggle to maintain relationships that lack the fundamental element of sexual attraction. The strain caused by this disconnect can lead to emotional and psychological distress, ultimately culminating in the dissolution of marriages. The stigma and judgment associated with divorce further contribute to the marginalization of asexual individuals within society. Addressing the Low Awareness and Limited Support for Asexual Individuals One of the key issues faced by asexual teenagers in Asia is the lack of awareness and support within their communities. Educational institutions, healthcare providers, and policymakers must prioritize the inclusion of asexual experiences in their curricula, training, and policies. By