Athulya Muralidharan
romantic oreintation:hetero leaning, in aromantic spectrum sexual oreintation: sex negative asexual…
You are gonna hit 30, you don’t have any future plans of having a biological child?
me: I thought people marry for life companionship , since parents don’t stay forever. On that basis accepting a person and the natural development of an emotional bond following long term interaction. I never made it to be something romantic or sexual, as a pre set goal. Not open to the idea of a sexual relation ever but I’m open to the idea of a romantic relationship, if it organically happens along the way but never like I aim for that. I start out platonically. Also, if a person has the idea of reproduction beforehand, it would imply the person atleast has a pre existing idea for a romantic and sexual relation ( hence alloromantic allosexual ) cuz surely one doesn’t think of reproducing with a friend , other than saying they might feel that way later (which means the the idea of a romantic and sexual relation only comes later) but is it as such? No. A pre existing idea for reproduction mandates a pre existing idea for a romantic and sexual relation. If a person is not alloromantic and in addition to that, also not allosexual, there exists no pre existing idea of a romantic and sexual relation, thereby no pre existing idea of a biological child , mandating one to plan for it.
people marry for having kids
me: not everyone wants kids, even if alloromantic allosexual but yes, if a pre existing wish for reproduction exists , that’s only possible if the person has a pre existing idea for a romantic and sexual relation cuz without that ,it’s impossible to imagine having a biological child . So, again back to what I previously stated .
yes, most people marry with the intention of a romantic and sexual relation. If you don’t have such pre existing wishes, you can’t opt for arranged marriage . Only marry once u feel romantically and sexually for someone. If you don’t feel that way , why do you want to marry, just for the sake of having someone staying under the same roof? If it’s a platonic relation as default , which may or may not later progress romantically, why do you even need to marry to have a friendship relation?
me: just cuz someone is not allosexual , not alloromantic , or both , doesn’t mean they want to live alone, have no one even knowing if they faint, no one who cares for them. They would want someone who can care for them and go through ups and downs of life together, have someone to call as ones own cuz existing family won’t last forever. They too have sentiments and would like someone they can call family, someone to count on, someone who respects and understands them, to grow together , be the source of strength for one another. These are practical and emotional aspects . Need not necessarily be romantic or sexual. Reducing everything to romantic and sexual, kinda seems like there is no other reason for people to stay together if not for that. We are sentient beings and need human connection. Not everything is about romantic and sexual relation. As for why why I would like legalization? Well, don’t people in romantic and sexual relationships want legalization , why not opt for “live in” or continue with “live in”? Reason- stability, security, a sense of commitment. This holds true for all kinds of relationships, unless related by blood (1st degree relations) but that too has documentation though for different reasons.
You can’t call that a life partner relation
me: why not? A life partner is a partner for life. Need not be restricted to a romantic+sexual relation. The very basics of a life partner are already covered, as per what I explained above . Someone who isn’t aromantic but asexual would want the same but additionally also a romantic relationship which is usually sexless. As for someone who is in aromantic spectrum/aromantic and also asexual, they too want a loving bond of platonic nature, just not pre defined as romantic and sexual. The very essence is having someone to count on, call as ones own, who understands and supports you , with you through thick and thin of life. Even for an alloromantic allosexual, all these hold importance . I see marriage as legal union for life companionship, the nature of which may vary , depending on the individuals involved. I know the legal definition is different cuz law is pretty biased to alloromantic allosexuals of hetero version anyway but atleast I can have legalization with someone like me and lead the life I want , as per my personal definition. With time, I hope there comes more awareness and a change in legal definition of marriage as well, cuz at the core it’s human connection that matters, be it romantic, sexual, non romantic or non sexual , or both. For a legal change, 1st its public perception that should change, ie not everything is about romance and sex, also not all alloromantic allosexuals are of hetero version. We all deserve to legally have someone .
About The Author
romantic oreintation:hetero leaning, in aromantic spectrum
sexual oreintation:
sex negative asexual who is anti allosexual and triggered by its mere existence.
